A Northampton woman who returns to Cynthia Spencer Hospice annually to bring gifts for staff who cared for her father when he was dying has joined the hospice’s Two Sides to Every Story campaign this week.
The campaign, to mark Hospice Care Week (7th-13th October), focuses on stories from both families who have experienced the hospice and the incredible staff who work there, highlighting the importance of palliative care and the dedication of hospice staff.
Natalie Bygraves’ father Alan was a patient at the hospice in his final weeks and said he was always happy to be admitted as kind staff “made him feel safe”.
Alan, who had multiple system atrophy, stayed at the hospice four times before he died in February 2020.
Natalie said: “Even though dad didn’t pass away at the hospice, Cynthia Spencer just means the world to us,” said Natalie.
“It’s just an amazing place to be and even though it is a sad time for anybody at the end of their life, if Cynthia Spencer is an option, then it’s an option you should take because they look after the whole family, not just the patient. And that’s what you need, you need the whole family to be looked after.”
As a token of their gratitude, Natalie and their family return to the hospice each year to bring gifts for staff and patients.
Last year the family honoured all the staff with a lucky dip, including over 100 gifts.
Natalie said: “It’s just our way of saying thank you. We just want to show our appreciation and how we feel about Cynthia Spencer. The hospice means a lot to our whole family, to know Dad was here and he was cared for so well was so reassuring.”
Cynthia Spencer Hospice Matron Laura Marlton says the hospice staff regularly have visits from families who have spent time at the hospice before losing a loved one.
“Some families come in on anniversaries,” she said, telling the other side of the story. “One of the first deaths I dealt with, the gentleman died on Christmas Day. For seven or eight years afterwards, they’d come into the hospice and bring chocolates and light a candle.
“It’s not about the gifts, it’s about seeing the families and finding out about their lives as part of remembrance.”
Laura added: “It means they’ve had a good experience because they’ve come back to relive the time they had here with their loved ones. Some people come back and volunteer and it’s a brilliant way to give back and make a difference.”
With a family history of working in palliative care, Laura always knew that she would follow the same path. She has been at the hospice for 13 years and matron for the last 12 months.
“You don’t get a retry in dying so anything you can do to make sure it’s done right, and patients are involved and listened to makes a huge difference,” said Laura.
“Every story from every patient is different and we have to adapt to that. It’s challenging but it’s rewarding when we can provide a positive experience for the patient and their loved ones at such a difficult time. It just means so much and I don’t think there’s another job in which you do that.”
The Cynthia Spencer Hospice team are not just well respected but well loved by patients and their families because palliative care relies upon staff who are passionate about their work.
Laura said: “The love the hospice staff have for our patients and for each other is something you just don’t see anywhere else.
“People say they are listened to and understood here. We make it a priority to give people time to talk freely, to scream and shout or do whatever they need to do. You can’t fake that empathy, and people know if you are.
“All the staff here are here because they love their job. They have a passion for what they do. It’s a special place with special people.
“People think it’s a sad place to work but you focus on people living as long as they can live and that’s a joy to celebrate.”
To find out more about how you can help support Cynthia Spencer Hospice, visit https://cynthiaspencer.org.uk//how-you-can-help-us/